/** ayboll ad script */

DC Unveils Aquaman and We’re OK With It

ZackSnyder drops a hydrogen bomb in the form of Jason Momoa as Aquaman, and we’re pleasantly surprised.

Aquaman is typically treated as the butt of the joke of DC superheroes. No, no, you know what? I’d go as far as to say he’s the butt of the joke of all superheroes. Are there worse superheroes? Absolutely, no doubt. But unfortunately none are as famous as Aquaman. What is his magical power? He can control fish? Whatever.

AquaMan (Image Source)

Oh…shit.

This isn’t some plastic blonde hair blue eyed bullshit we just got handed. This is goddamn Jason Momoa. This is a scarred, 7 foot Hawaiian with a dark, steely eyed gaze, a mess of long luxurious beach-head hair, physically cut like Hercules himself, and is that a frickin’ trident he’s holding?!

Yes. Yes it is. He brought the trident.

Suddenly I remember that the ocean is actually a dark and terrifying place. We know more of outer space than we know of the deepest depths of the ocean floor. If a ship is caught in a storm at sea, regardless of mankind’s incredible technical advancements, it is solely at the mercy of the sea. And I also remember that there are a lot–A LOT–of creatures in the sea that can kill you. In fact, there’s possibly nothing more terrifying that being stranded at sea. You can die. You can drown. You can be eaten by a variety of sharks. Let us not forget that Steve Irwin, THE Crocodile Hunter, a man who made his living wrestling and conserving some of Earth’s last evidence of dinosaurs, met his end by a stingray.





These are things that never ever crossed my mind when looking at this douchebag.

aquaman-feat
Nice Sea Horse

(Source Image)

Prior mentioned info dosen’t even cross my mind when looking this image, and it’s clearly directed at recalling our knowledge of dark sea creatures.

Aquaman comic
Meh.

(Source Image)

Sure, Jason Momoa’s Aquaman costume completely deviates from the iconic orange and green uniform, but I’m welcoming it. It’s Marvel who has branded itself as a fantastical universe where all sorts of insanity happens and we all just go with it, because Thanos. With that logic, Marvel uniforms have done really well at maintaining their colorful range of variety, and that’s awesome. But DC has decided to take the dark and gritty route. It’s been demonstrated that staying true to character and wardrobe hasn’t necessarily worked out–I’m talking about Green Lantern, y’all; Ryan Reynolds nailed Hal Jordan and no one seemed to give him credit for it, so off to Marvel as Deadpool he goes!–so if we have to switch up some costumes and character personas, so be it.

Sorry-not-sorry, but I really enjoyed Man of Steel, which was also directed by Zack Snyder, the man who released this famous image of Aquaman in what I hope indicates he will have a hand in making this new movie. As an audience, we’ve gotten too close to Superman, much like we’ve gotten to the Doctor in Doctor Who, and I wholly feel it was time to pull the character back, get out of his head, and see him as a stranger all over again. After all, even though he was raised on Earth, he’s an alien, and can we ever really understand him? Superfans might think they so, but I disagree. It’s that alienation that attracts us so.

With that, I’m hoping DC is going to do something along the same lines with Aquaman. I’m going to say this now and just get it out of the way: I know nothing about Aquaman, and I’ve never cared to. I’m crazy about large bodies of water, I enjoyed swimming competitively, I enjoyed keeping fish, and the Little Mermaid was my favorite childhood movie because the first half was entirely underwater, but never before had I thought to myself “I should really check out Aquaman because his superpower correlates with my interests.” I have often thought to myself: “That looks terrible.” But I’m also not so big of a person to not admit that I also thought Battlestar Galatica looked terrible, and I have perhaps never been so wrong about something in my life. So I don’t know the background story of Aquaman. I don’t know how it goes or what he’s like. I just really want DC to create a character that I find fascinating and complex for 2018. I also really hope the script will explain away how he got that name too. Like in Man of Steel, I can only hope Aquaman’s name comes from the same lack of creativity as Superman’s did, because it’s a weird descriptive name entirely reminiscent of 1941.

I’m excited. I’m so freaking excited for Aquaman. I haven’t been this excited for a DC movie since…well, Superman vs. Batman, which is also being directed by Zack Snyder. DC Movies have become dark and gritty, and quite frankly, I’m welcoming this with open arms. DC can’t be Marvel, and I don’t want them to try. So let Zack Snyder direct The Justice League Part One, and Justice League Part Two (can I just say enough with the ‘Part’ movies? Stop it; just stop, we’re going to see your damn sequel regardless, stop baiting us, it’s patronizing), so please-oh-please, just let him direct Aquaman. He’s directed such amazeballs movies as Watchmen and 300, how could he mess up the king of Atlantis? Yeah, 300 and Watchmen are kind of basis for jokes now, but you have to see those movies in order to get jokes in the first place. Aquaman is kind of joke in the first place, so I don’t see how Snyder could make him any worse. Besides, those movies were highly anticipated at the date of release, and their cinematic methods have often been intimated in later films. Imitation is the best form of flattery.

I wasn’t planning on seeing Aquaman. And now I can’t freaking wait for 2018.

I'm just sitting here Aquaman